I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
