4 words: hood of his car
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
