Whod you bang
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
