When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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