Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize