a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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