we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
