Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
