I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
