i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
