Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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