I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
