Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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