I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
