Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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