I don't usually arrange sex via text message
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
