Don't you send me to vm
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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