If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
