her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
