I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
