he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
