what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
