my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
