it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
