that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
