its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
