Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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