My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
