Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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