Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
