Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize