I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It's just like the Real World with babies
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
whose parrot is this?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
