I wanna bring you to show and tell
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
