I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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