I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
