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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
