Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
