Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
