yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
