A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
