If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
