I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
