I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
