thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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