oh god the rape fog is back!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
