I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Send help, water and tortillas.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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