I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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