I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
