Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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