I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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