She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
