Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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