Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
