I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
