somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
