Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
