I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize