Say something about gay babies.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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