Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
