I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
