Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
