i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Dicks are not precious.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
