Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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