Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
