google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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