Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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