I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
